J. D. Pendry

J. D. Pendry

Got a minute?

I expect by now that you are covered up with image consultants, wardrobe consultants, political strategists, campaign masterminds and any number of minions who have spent their lives manufacturing plastic people with plastic stories that they hope to sell to real Americans. So you probably do not need advice emanating from a piece of the hillside here in Wild Wonderful West Virginia. But, even when not solicited, I am prone to offer it.

For heaven sakes whatever else you might consider, don’t change the hair do.

Just remember, it was authenticity that brought you to this hockey game and arguably made you America’s most popular political figure. You do not need to manufacture an image in order to connect with Americans. God and life’s experiences took care of that for you. Both gave you the story that most politicians spend millions to make up. My Daddy was a mill worker, my Daddy was a poor factory worker, my Daddy was… None of that matters. What matters is not who or what Daddy was. What matters out here in my small-town America is who you are, what you have done and what and who you represent. That is what scares the snot out of America’s self-appointed aristocracy. They see people wearing jeans and not the designer variety either, with calluses on their hands and dirt beneath their fingernails standing at the gate with a battering ram named Sarah. And they are genuinely afraid of that.

Did I mention that a big ole whistle pig has taken residence underneath the shed in my back yard? I bet you that dang few of those DC metro-sexual men would know a whistle pig if they seen one. I don’t even know if groundhogs are native to Alaska, but I expect that you would not be shocked to see one out there in your back yard. I don’t mean to digress. I know you are probably busier than a one-legged man in a butt kicking contest about now, so I will try not to take too much more of your time.

However it came to be, common America sees one of its own out there on the national stage. I am not sure if even you know what is building out here because of that. I know that probably puts a lot of pressure on you. Just keep in mind who you are talking for and too and you will be just fine. A hint, it is neither Washington’s shysters nor Hollywood’s socialists.

They are going to do their level best to destroy you. They would love nothing better than see you quit and will become more viscous towards you and your family as the election nears. They have already and will continue to say things that would bring many to tears. You cannot give them that victory. Stand firm and continue to pound the snot out of them. A steady dose of forceful hip checks into the boards delivered with that Sarah smile and they will self-destruct. Every day that you hold up, they become a little more unhinged. Signs of desperation are already showing. Also, whenever one of these polecats, who like to pretend that they are objective journalists, takes an undeserved swipe at you or your family they are swiping at every American who has ever worked for a living. To their undoing, they have not figured that out yet. They believe that everyone who matters is like them and that the rest are just a collection of uneducated hicks who cannot survive without their intervention.

You probably know by now that there is that other group that is angry with you. It is that assortment of females who profess to speak for all women. The ones who decided that having babies and fulfilling the subsequent responsibilities hindered their chances to pursue career opportunities, so they needed abortion on demand to remove barriers to their success. After all, they cannot be punished with babies. They wanted to go to the men’s only club and drink shots and smoke cigars with the boys. Now along comes successful Sarah with children. Amazingly, they discovered their motherly side insisting that it is simply not possible for you to be an important politician and properly care for your children. Although they billed it as such, they were not interested in being successful women. They wanted to be men. Your presence illustrates that to the world and boy that makes them madder’en hell.

Then there is Oprahbama-gate. You do not need Oprah. Your book is already a bestseller without her help. The moment you walk onto her stage, you become less like us and more like her. Maybe you should just go ahead and tell her that, politely of course. We are a jealous lot out here. We do not want to share you with Oprah.

Accept that you probably will not help Senator McCain get any votes in Oprahbama’s Chicago, in Nan’s San Francisco, or in Hill’s New York City or other similar places. Remember that most Americans are small-town people. Most of America’s employers are small business owners. Most Americans have never been to Chicago, San Francisco or New York City, but they are sitting now where you once sat. Never sacrifice who you are, what brought you here, or what you stand for and it will be you who someday pencils Oprah in on the calendar.

Copyright © J D Pendry 2008 All Rights Reserved

This entry was posted on Saturday, September 6th, 2008 at 9:09 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.